The Toughest Thing About This Journey

Intro

First of all, I feel that I need to qualify the title with “So Far.” We’ve only been (technically) out of the country for about a year, so more challenging times will come.

Let’s get to it!

FOMO

FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out, is real.

Especially in this connected world!

When I left my second home of Jakarta to head back to Manila, I had this feeling too. I left my circle of friends and felt bad about missing all the good times they were having without me. And that was in reading letters (yes, snail mail) every month or so!

Nowadays, you get bombarded with reminders of things you miss, from your friend’s social media posts and, worst, that group chat. Sometimes, I want to leave those altogether, but I’m afraid my FOMO will just get worse.

Actually, let me rephrase that. It is not just a fear… because there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s reality. It is the Loneliness Of Being Left Out.

Being Forgotten

Another challenging thing that you go through is still related to FOMO. This time, it’s about missing out on the formative years of your loved ones. In our case, it’s not being with our nephew and niece.

I went through this a bit with my sisters’ kids. Although we have a good relationship with them, it sucks that we were not always there for them. This feels worse, though, because I was the one who moved and left.

You want to compensate by trying to send gifts and whatnot, but you know (deep down) it’s not enough.

• It stings when they forget your name. Although I feel the little one knows our name and finds it funny when we ask him for our names. 😅

Not Being Present

What sucks even more than being forgotten?

The feeling of helplessness, especially when bad things happen back home.

It’s tough not being there for the good times. It’s even worse when you cannot be there for the tough times.

Not A Walk In The Park

This journey is not for the weak.